me? felicity? it has to be a dream

i had the weirdest dream last night. apparently, i was in a class with ben and we had to pick partners and i wanted to be ben's partner really bad. luckily i was able to be ben's partner. when i walked out of the class, i ran up to ben and he hugged me and we started kissing. then later on, me and ben were at some place and jimmy comes in and starts talking to ben and he has this really sad look on his face. as i looked at jimmy, i know i was supposed to be with him, but i was with ben for some reason and i wanted to be with jimmy, but i wanted to be with ben too.when jimmy left, i said to ben, "you and jimmy are like my ben and noel from felicity." and that's all i remembered from my dream.i was kinda weirded out when i woke up cause i could remember having feelings for ben, but in real life i'm not attracted to ben in that way at all. its true that i thought ben was cute before and i still think he is a good-looking guy, but i don't wanna be with him that way (no offense to ben, you're a great guy but i love jimmy, and besides you have trish so its not like you would care if i didn't want you.)anyways, today at the mall while i was walking with jennifer and sean, i keep reaching out for a hand, jimmy's hand. i feel so plain without him. i feel so empty. i'm so used to having him by my side. and i was watching felicity and i saw felicity and noel cuddling in bed and he asked her if she wanted to move in with him and all i could think about was jimmy and me. i miss burrowing into him.